Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Duck a-flippin'-l'orange

We have a bit of an "open door" policy in our barn with animals coming and going as they please. I've always been against it, but everyone just tells me to shut up and quit my moaning.
well, I'm off to kip round Bernard the Goat's tonight as I've had enough. Three stupid ducks waddled in and sat around chewing bubblegum, laughing very loudly and generally making a nuisance of themselves. Farmer Jack's confiscated our telly, so we have to make do with reading or whatever, and I really couldn't cope with their racket.
But, I gritted my teeth, not wanting to spill the apple tart, or whatever the saying is, and just got on with reading this week's Beano (with my collector's item guest appearance).
I popped over to talk to Lenny to discuss the science behind "Star Trek", when I spotted the ducks walking out of the barn. Not only did they walk out, but they walked through my patch and one of 'em pooed on my bedding!!!!
How dare they!! So that's it, Bernard says there's plenty of room over in his shed and I'm not to believe the rumours about the ghostly scarecrow. Which is brilliant, because I'd never heard of any flippin' "ghostly scarecrow" and now I ain't so keen. It can't be any worse than sleeping in duck poo I suppose.


Gertie said...

Do you want me to put a voodoo hex on them? Or do a haunting? I can do both, for I am dead. Pooping on someone's bed is the height of rudeness. You'd expect that from a Gorilla, but not a DUCK.

Derek said...

Had a bit of trouble with gorillas have you? I've heard they're quite misunderstood creatures and will only poo on your bed if provoked.

Gertie said...

Nah, I haven't specifically met a Gorilla, but a mate of mine, Barry the Blackbird, flew over London Zoo once and the Gorillas were being obstinate and fussy. Why? who knows, but that didn't stop them thinking throwing their doo-doo at the unsuspecting public was wrong. Gorillas? Misunderstood? Don't let Davey Attenborough trick you!!