Saturday, October 28, 2006

Rodney Takes Over!!!


Wot a cheek! I become the most famous resident on my farm, so other less interesting residents decide they want part of the action.
"Oh if Derek can get in the Beano, and he's such a big idiot, then so can I!". Thus this week's episode starring Rodney the Bull. To be fair, who's going to mess with him? Not me. He's big and smelly and I wouldn't go near him with a barge-pole, whatever that might be. (And he was coloured in white last month, which caused much mirth round 'ere I can tell ya! Hahaha!!)

so, whatever, pree-senting the sad tale of the loser Rodney the Bull, on sale now my beloved Derek fans.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Alan Horse

Brilliant. Now Alan Horse thinks I think he's an alien. That stupid Lenny! It's all his fault with his blabbing. He must have cocopops for brains.

In fact Alan's so mad, NO horses are talking to me and I'm not allowed to watch this week's "Horse Mastermind" where all the horses on the farm show off their general knowledge and answer questions on a specialised subject. It's always very exciting and sometimes I get to ask the questions. But now I'm banned.

Horses are right thick anyway. Alan's chosen subject tends to be "Baked Beans through history from 1987 to 1999", or "Spiderman's ugliest girlfriends". How does that show ANY signs of intelligence? He'd be better off with questions on sugar lumps or er.. what colour horses are. Through history.


Monday, October 16, 2006

Aliens - Are they out there?

Aliens. Do they exist? I've often pondered this age old question. Are there beings on other worlds? I asked Lenny today as he pretends to know everything. But he thought I said Alans.
"Alans? Do Alans exist?" He replied, "I know at least two Alans, so yes, they do exist. Alan Horse and Alan Chicken, you know, the one with the wonky legs".

I got very mad with Lenny. I'm sure he's going deaf! So I pushed him into a cowpat 'cos he annoyed me so much.

Bert worm weren't much help neither. He says he knows at least three aliens and I said "No! Not ALANS; ALIENS!!!". Bert reckons he knew what I said and he knew about three real aliens, but seeing as I was shouting at him, he weren't going to tell me about 'em. Yeah, whatever. Stupid worm. How do worms know any aliens?! They live in the dirt! I was only asking him a phisolophical question. I weren't expecting to actually meet any!! Maybe I'll spy on him and see if he's lying or not.

Maybe I'll ask Cecil. HE knows everything that need to be known.
Maybe he knows about Bert's alien friends.
To be honest, I wish I'd never asked. Never ask worms important questions, that's my advice to you my friends.