Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Quiz time!! Big prizes!!!

Oh yes! As promised here is a fantastic quiz to test the knowledge of even the most hardened Derek the Sheep fan!

Up for grabs is not one, but two Beano 2006 Annuals signed by me (Derek), Cecil, Lenny, Nobby, Bernard and some bloke called Gary Northfield (I think he clears out the manure or something, no one seems to know).

So, two lucky people will be running away with this highly sought-after treasure, purely by knowing what I've been upto in the Beano the last 18 months or so.

It's a multiple-choice quiz to give you a vague chance, just in case you might have missed the odd issue, we are kindly folk after all. If by any chance there's a draw with three or more people getting the highest correct answers, then all winning names will be put into a hat, under strict supervision by an independant adjudicator (Trevor Duck has volunteered. He's got a moustache and we decided he looked the most important), and the winners names will be pulled out of the hat thereof. We'll show photos of the hat-picking to prove we weren't cheating! Runners-up in a tie will get a sketch anyway to make up for any disappointment and to stop yer blubbering.
All decisions are final.

All entries must be emailed to me at by Sunday October 9th 2005 midnight BST. And no putting it on ebay the next day! This amazing prize will be something to show off to your grandchildren in one hundred years time, when you're living on the moon or something.

here goes!

Good luck!!

Question 1
In my very first adventure, what was guarding the bridge stopping everyone getting to the other side?

a) A smelly tractor
b) A fire-breathing troll
c) A very angry bull
d) a nasty big wasp

Question 2
In the story "Field of Dreams" (issue 3227 may 22nd 2004), me and my mate Lizzie escape from Farmer Jack on a tractor. Why was he chasing us?

a) We'd blown up his favourite shed
b) We'd eaten his underpants
c) We'd eaten his prize apples
d) He wanted to sell us for magic beans

Question 3
In "Getting the wind up" (issue 3231 June 19th 2004), I had a fight with a stupid squirrel. What was he trying to watch on the T.V.?

a) Wildlife On One
b) Blue Peter
c) Can't Cook, Won't Cook
d) Britney Spear's latest video

Question 4
I had a lovely snowy story in "No Business like snow business" back in December 2004 (issue 3256), but what did me and the gang use for a sledge?

a) A big fat cow
b) The barn door
c) Lots of cowpats tied together
d) An old boat

Question 5
I had a load of flies hanging around my backside getting on my nerves in issue 3236, July 24th 2004. What did I use as a long tail to give 'em a good whacking?

a) A broom
b) A welly
c) Some old rope
d) a bullrush

Question 6
Cecil and his stupid cousin George completely ruined my chances of winning "Best Farmyard Haircut 2005" in "Bad Hair Day" (iss. 3262, Jan 22 2005), but George loved competitions; what did he win just the week before?

a) Essex County champion spelling bee
b) Loveliest Legs, Margate
c) A bubblegum blowing contest
d) Hotdog eating championship

Question 7
Who turned up for the first time in issue 3252 November 13th 2004, desperate to be my friend, but ending up getting me in big trouble?

a) Lenny
b) Cecil
c) Nobby
d) Bernard

Question 8
In "It's an Ill Wind", (3240 August 2004), I somehow got loads of crisps stuck in my eyes; what did Lenny throw in my face to wash them out with?

a) Baked beans
b) Washing up liquid
c) A cup of tea
d) Sheep dip

Question 9
We came face to face with a stupid leprechaun in issue 3245 (sept 25th 2004), but he wasn't actually from Ireland! Where was he from?

a) Luton Airport
b) Romford, Essex
c) Barnsley
d) Loch Ness

Question 10
Farmer Jack made us all wear annoying bells round our necks in issue 3266 (Feb 19th 2005). What was the punishment if we took them off?

a) Wash all 28 of his dirty tractors
b) Milk the cows with our bare hands
c) Cross country running in the pouring rain
d) Wash his dirty underwear

Question 11
In issue 3270 (Mar 19th 2005) we had a great game of football, but who didn't like being a goalpost and walked off in a sulk?

a) Lenny
b) Ernie the horse
c) Kevin the rabbit
d) Nobby the hedgehog

Question 12
In last years Christmas issue all us sheep were auditioning for a part in the nativity play. What was Lenny's act that left the judges unimpressed?

a) Cowpat spinning
b) Doing his Britney Spears dance
c) Juggling eggs
d) Jumping through fiery hoops. Backwards. On a motorbike.

Question 13
I had a painful bunion on my foot in issue 3274 (April 16th 2005). Cecil had a new birthday present which really got on my nerves; what was it?

a) A trumpet
b) A guitar
c) Karaoke machine
d) A singing fish

Question 14
I was unhappy at being mistaken for Lenny in issue 3286 (July 9th 2005), what did Cecil dress me up as to make me look different?

a) An Outer Hebrides Yeti
b) A Hungarian Big Eared Llama
c) A Chinese Night Wombat
d) A Mongolian Hairy Moose

Question 15
Last month, issue 3290, we met Big Baz for the first time, but who knocked all his teeth out?

a) Doris, Cecil's sister
b) Eric the really big horse
c) Nutty Nigel
d) Farmer Jack

And that's it!! Just write your answers like this "Q1 - A" or something. you don't have rewrite the whole questions.

good luck!


Fat Tony said...

Flippin' eck! This is Mastermind standard!

Fat Tony said...

Derek, Menaceman wanted to know about your interest in the stars.
Which bit of the archive thingy would it be in?

Derek said...

If it's too hard I'll make it easier. Maybe I went a bit over the top...

Just seeing how brainy you were. Of course if you think it's easy I'll leave it...

MIKE DA HAT said...

I've gone into a cold sweat. It reminds me of school exams again. I think I'd better just buy the annual myself and forge the autographs.

Derek said...

You never know your luck, you might somehow accidently get the most answers right just by guessing. stranger things happen at sea!

Menaceman said...

Derek, are you and Fat Tony not talking? He was kind enough to forward something I mentioned on his blog (which I had no idea he would do) and you answered everyone else but him. Just wondering. Also, I have SOOOO got to enter this quiz! My brains may explode in the process of trying to remember the answers though as I can't get my Beanos and swot up 'cos they've all been put in the attic. I'll give it my best.

Derek said...

Whoops! Forgot all about FT and my interest in stars and things! sorry peeps.

Let me have a look...

Derek said...

Here it be!!

Molyan said...

That is one hard quiz.

I'm going to have a go though. Unless I get sidetracked by my Beano pinball game...

Derek said...

In my defence, I wanted it to be a bit hard. I don't like them easy quizzes like you get on "This Morning" like "What colour is a banana?", you know the sort of thing.

It's a multiple choice though, so if no one enters you have a brilliant chance of winning!

Molyan said...

As someone who has never seen a turnip, you could have had 'what colour is a turnip'. It would have been hard for me.

Derek said...

For my next quiz I'm doing a "spot the difference". I love "spot the differences".

Derek said...

The prize will be a signed turnip.

Derek said...

getting a few answers trickling in! It's very exciting!

Well I'm excited.

Molyan said...

Brilliant! A signed turnip! Woooo! A great prize and for me, educational too!

Have you got a clear winner yet?

Derek said...

Might have...

Menaceman said...

That's it! I'm getting my answers in NOW! Oh and thanks for the link Derek. The memories came flooding back. :D

Menaceman said...

Me again! I just sent you my answers and was just wondering, has anybody got them ALL right yet?

Derek said...

Not yet. I haven't checked yours yet though.
I don't suppose that everyone has seen all my adventures. Maybe if I put them all together in one big book, that would help.

Derek said...

Plenty of time for people to send in their answers, so don't be shy!!

Derek said...

Just had an impressive set of answers in! Oh yes, I think we've found one definite name for the hat.

Cor I'm impressed.

don't forget there's TWO annuals up for grabs, so go for it!!

I'm everso excited.

I love competitions me.

Fat Tony said...

How does Derek get on using sellotape to parcel things up? I bet he gets in a right old mess, unless Cecil lends a paw.

Gertie said...

Since when have Bee's had flippin' paws??

Fat Tony said...

At least Bees don't have rogue apostrophes.

Hamish said...

Apostrophies gone bad...wooooah scarey!

Molyan said...


Fat Tony said...

Rogue apostrophes need to be hunted down and wiped out with a giant Tippex gun. Bit like the Man from UNCLE special.

Molyan said...

AAGGH! Tippex makes me faint!



Menaceman said...

Ha! Thud! Did you know that there is an actual society for getting rid of improperly used apostrophes? There is! I saw it on TV last year.

click me said...

So sad..

Derek said...

There was talk of getting rid of the possessive apostrophe. This caused quite a stir round here.

Molyan said...

I'm ill.

I think it's some apostrophe curse.

Or the Tippex.

Fat Tony said...

32 comments must be an all-time record. Sorry, 33 now.

Menaceman said...

So... how many entrants are there now then, Derek? More than 50?

Derek said...

There's been plenty for me and the lads to work through, although there's a few regular readers who haven't yet taken the plunge. Still a couple of weeks left! If you're not sure, then take a gamble, you might get a lucky guess!
Thanks so far to all those who have given it their best shot!

Molyan said...

I'm still ill, you know.

Fat Tony said...

What you need is a cuppa tea, Mars bar and a copy of the Beano, Molyan, then you'll feel much better.

Menaceman said...

Ah. The beano. So many uses. Can't think of any at the moment but I'm sure there's quite a few...

Molyan said...

Thank you for the advice, Fat Tony.

I've used a Beano to write song lyrics on.

They'll auction that Beano in ten years time and make tons of money.

Menaceman said...

Who's "they"?

Molyan said...

"They" are that person who I don't really like but phones me every day, the teacher who sent me home from school when I was ill and the dog who barks a lot down the road.

Menaceman said...

OK then. I see there isn't long left now until the competition is over. I've managed to keep myself from buckling and buying the annual already thanks to this comp, and the the fact that I ask for it for christmas every year and usually get it.