Oh yes! As promised here is a fantastic quiz to test the knowledge of even the most hardened Derek the Sheep fan!
Up for grabs is not one, but two Beano 2006 Annuals signed by me (Derek), Cecil, Lenny, Nobby, Bernard and some bloke called Gary Northfield (I think he clears out the manure or something, no one seems to know).
So, two lucky people will be running away with this highly sought-after treasure, purely by knowing what I've been upto in the Beano the last 18 months or so.
It's a multiple-choice quiz to give you a vague chance, just in case you might have missed the odd issue, we are kindly folk after all. If by any chance there's a draw with three or more people getting the highest correct answers, then all winning names will be put into a hat, under strict supervision by an independant adjudicator (Trevor Duck has volunteered. He's got a moustache and we decided he looked the most important), and the winners names will be pulled out of the hat thereof. We'll show photos of the hat-picking to prove we weren't cheating! Runners-up in a tie will get a sketch anyway to make up for any disappointment and to stop yer blubbering.
All decisions are final.
All entries must be emailed to me at email@example.com by Sunday October 9th 2005 midnight BST. And no putting it on ebay the next day! This amazing prize will be something to show off to your grandchildren in one hundred years time, when you're living on the moon or something.
In my very first adventure, what was guarding the bridge stopping everyone getting to the other side?
a) A smelly tractor
b) A fire-breathing troll
c) A very angry bull
d) a nasty big wasp
In the story "Field of Dreams" (issue 3227 may 22nd 2004), me and my mate Lizzie escape from Farmer Jack on a tractor. Why was he chasing us?
a) We'd blown up his favourite shed
b) We'd eaten his underpants
c) We'd eaten his prize apples
d) He wanted to sell us for magic beans
In "Getting the wind up" (issue 3231 June 19th 2004), I had a fight with a stupid squirrel. What was he trying to watch on the T.V.?
a) Wildlife On One
b) Blue Peter
c) Can't Cook, Won't Cook
d) Britney Spear's latest video
I had a lovely snowy story in "No Business like snow business" back in December 2004 (issue 3256), but what did me and the gang use for a sledge?
a) A big fat cow
b) The barn door
c) Lots of cowpats tied together
d) An old boat
I had a load of flies hanging around my backside getting on my nerves in issue 3236, July 24th 2004. What did I use as a long tail to give 'em a good whacking?
a) A broom
b) A welly
c) Some old rope
d) a bullrush
Cecil and his stupid cousin George completely ruined my chances of winning "Best Farmyard Haircut 2005" in "Bad Hair Day" (iss. 3262, Jan 22 2005), but George loved competitions; what did he win just the week before?
a) Essex County champion spelling bee
b) Loveliest Legs, Margate
c) A bubblegum blowing contest
d) Hotdog eating championship
Who turned up for the first time in issue 3252 November 13th 2004, desperate to be my friend, but ending up getting me in big trouble?
In "It's an Ill Wind", (3240 August 2004), I somehow got loads of crisps stuck in my eyes; what did Lenny throw in my face to wash them out with?
a) Baked beans
b) Washing up liquid
c) A cup of tea
d) Sheep dip
We came face to face with a stupid leprechaun in issue 3245 (sept 25th 2004), but he wasn't actually from Ireland! Where was he from?
a) Luton Airport
b) Romford, Essex
d) Loch Ness
Farmer Jack made us all wear annoying bells round our necks in issue 3266 (Feb 19th 2005). What was the punishment if we took them off?
a) Wash all 28 of his dirty tractors
b) Milk the cows with our bare hands
c) Cross country running in the pouring rain
d) Wash his dirty underwear
In issue 3270 (Mar 19th 2005) we had a great game of football, but who didn't like being a goalpost and walked off in a sulk?
b) Ernie the horse
c) Kevin the rabbit
d) Nobby the hedgehog
In last years Christmas issue all us sheep were auditioning for a part in the nativity play. What was Lenny's act that left the judges unimpressed?
a) Cowpat spinning
b) Doing his Britney Spears dance
c) Juggling eggs
d) Jumping through fiery hoops. Backwards. On a motorbike.
I had a painful bunion on my foot in issue 3274 (April 16th 2005). Cecil had a new birthday present which really got on my nerves; what was it?
a) A trumpet
b) A guitar
c) Karaoke machine
d) A singing fish
I was unhappy at being mistaken for Lenny in issue 3286 (July 9th 2005), what did Cecil dress me up as to make me look different?
a) An Outer Hebrides Yeti
b) A Hungarian Big Eared Llama
c) A Chinese Night Wombat
d) A Mongolian Hairy Moose
Last month, issue 3290, we met Big Baz for the first time, but who knocked all his teeth out?
a) Doris, Cecil's sister
b) Eric the really big horse
c) Nutty Nigel
d) Farmer Jack
And that's it!! Just write your answers like this "Q1 - A" or something. you don't have rewrite the whole questions.