Well, it's conker season as you all well know, and we all love competitions round here and we're having a BIG conker "Conk-Out" all this week.
Of course I'm the best at conkers in the entire world and I was interviewed on local TV once for being so great.
In fact I still have the same conker from all those years ago and it's called Big Bertha, after my Auntie Bertha who sort of looked like a conker actually. It's never let me down and I've smashed up a total of 92 conkers, 28 acorns, 16 old baked beans and some eggs.
I am the Champ!!!
So bring it on!
Bert Worm admires "Big Bertha".