Monday, May 09, 2005

Would you say I'm miserable? Someone said I'm miserable today and it upset me. They said I had a face "Like a bulldog chewing a wasp". How would they know? Is that something bulldogs do often?
I wonder if Cecil's ever been chewed by a bulldog? Although he's a bee, so he'd probably get chewed by a yorkshire terrier or something. He's never mentioned it if he has, and if you're gonna get chewed by a dog, you're bound to mention it at some point.
It was Monday morning after all, so I reckon I was allowed to be miserable, everyone else seems to be! Not that I think I was. I was just eating straw and imagining what the new Star Wars film might be like and maybe I was imagining all the "dark evil" we've been promised and my face does tend to reflect my current thoughts. "Like little windows to your soul" is how Bernard the goat described my eyes once (which makes a change from "a couple of mad ping pong balls" which is the normal description from friends and family). I kicked him up the bum for saying that, mind; I didn't know what he meant and it was the only way I knew how to react. He's a bit strange that Bernard.

21 comments:

Fat Tony said...

Flippin' eck! Bernard sounds very confused - I should give him a wide berth if I were you.
I thought it was Compulsory to be miserable on Monday mornings anyway.

Fat Tony said...

Bow down and worship me, foolish sheep! I've taken over Lexica's blog - you might be next! My spies are everywhere- keep an eye on the horizon...

Fat Tony said...

I have taken over Lexica's blog. honest. blogger will catch up eventually.

The Doctor's assistant said...

Flippin' 'eck!!! Fat tony the evil pigeon has taken over lexicas blog!!! First bob the chicken and now this!!! What is the world coming too!!! Do something Derek!!!

MIKE DA HAT said...

I sense a huge conspiracy building up. Will we ever know the truth or will the powers that be shut it all down forever.....the truth is out there.

Paws said...

HISS! Beware, you giant Bird Brain of Doom! We cats will defeat and squash you like a puny mouse. You may be as big as a fat whale but remember; there are more of us than there is of you.

Prepare for your destruction...

Gertie said...

Boo get the smelly pooey Pigeon off!! Horrid sky rats!!

Fat Tony said...

Pah! I eat 3 cats for breakfast every morning. Very tasty too, apart from the hairballs. Ghost fish make a nice midmorning snack.
More news on my plan for world domination soon...

Derek said...

Poor old Lexica! What have you done to her??
So What can a stupid pigeon write about eh?
"Flew about a bit today, pooed on a statue. Saw a bag of chips in the road, but every time I went to peck at it, a blooming car went past so I had to fly away. It was very frustrating".

Should be great!

Fat Tony said...

Lexica fell in the compost heap when I gave a particularly loud squawk. Nothing personal, you understand, just business. I let her out again when she promised to chronicle my wonderful adventures - which are going to be much more exciting than those of woolgathering creatures. I have got transport now, so look out everyone!

Gertie said...

Your adventures are nothing in comparison to MINE!! You smelly birds make nests out of poo, we fish...do alot (when we're dead).

Anyway you big podgy pigeon, Derek is in the Beano! :)

Gertie said...

Your adventures are nothing in comparison to MINE!! You smelly birds make nests out of poo, we fish...do alot (when we're dead).

Anyway you big podgy pigeon, Derek is in the Beano! :)

Gertie said...

That's how good we Fish are...

...we double post! :S

Anonymous said...

The Psychic dude says that any pigeon or pig will be burnt by my
Pyrokanaises!

Fat Tony said...

the Beano makes lovely nesting material!

Gertie said...

:O Oh my...! That's the ultimate insult, especially from a Pigeon!!

Don't have it Derek!

Derek said...

He's cruisin' for a bruisin' that pigeon.

Paws said...

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!! YOU USE THE BEANO FOR NESTING MATERIAL!?! YOU ARE NOT ONE OF US! EXTERMINATE! ANNIHILATE! DESTROY!

Gandy said...

I say The Beano is a realy naff comic, however Derek is Revolutionary! you should leave the small boys and get some of the real pie (you know, that hot steamy chicken pie with little Veggie cubes in...mmmmmm). you'll rule the world!

Gandy's right hand man said...

Listen to Gandy Boy! he's a legend of our time!

Derek said...

Thanks Gandy!! I do have a little red beret which makes me look a bit hard, so I'd make a great revolutionary.