Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Apparently I smell.

Lenny told me today that I have B.O.. I had no idea what he meant. Did he mean Bionic Oatflakes? Brilliant Opal (eyes)? Brown Oranges? (That last one doesn't even make sense).
NO!!! He meant I smelt BAD!

What an absolute cheek. I smell lovely. Even Cecil remarked on how keenly I smelt the other day. I'm sure it was meant as a compliment. So the whole farm clubbed together and bought me a can of deoderant; "Eu de Barn Door" it was called. Lenny says that not only will I smell great, I'll also get myself a girlfriend. Like as if that's a good thing. Girlfriends are for idiots; it's a scientific fact - I saw it on Channel Four News.
Anyway, to keep everyone happy, I sprayed some (well all) the stuff under me armpits and behind my ears and now I smell like a rosy barn door! I've not had any women throwing themselves at me though, unless you count wasps and blue-bottles (you'd think I was a big bottle of jam or something the way they're all carrying on).

Now I can't sleep as I stink of perfume and whenever I do dose off all I dream about is Lenny dressed as Charlotte Church chasing me down the street. And that ain't a good thing.

4 comments:

Derek said...

Does jam come in bottles?? I think I made a clerical error there. But I'm leaving it in as it's a great idea and I want to prove that I thought of it first.

By the way, did you enjoy my lovely weekly strips??? Then vote for me over at beanotown.com and you might get some more!!

you never heard it from me though...

Fat Tony said...

Not half as worrying as Charlotte Church dressed as Lenny...

Menaceman said...

Oh that's conjured up some wonderful mental images. I can see them both performing together on stage.

Paws said...

...and then passing out at the bar.