Gosh I love chips. Ever since that chip shop opened next door it's all I've eaten really. Me and everyone else. I always get a bread roll too, 'cos you can't beat a good chip butty. Mmmmm..
The big minus is that you've got to look at that hairy lump Bernard the goat, who's been promoted from "peeling chips" to "shaking chips in fat fryer".
He also greets you with, "Good morning sir, how may I help you this wonderful morning?".
Get yer great ugly mug out of my eyes would be a starter!!!
He even wears one of them MacDonald hats that look like a paper boat and he looks like a right berk in it I can tell you. He's loaded with money too. He's been buying all the latest DVD's including "Wallace and Gromit" and "When Good Goats Go Bad".
He's really been flashing the cash and all the ladies seem to be really impressed. Delia duck's even been seen wearing a very posh roller neck jumper and we all know who paid for THAT! Them two are made for each other anyway; not only is she really boring and eats underpants, but she's also got a flippin' beard!!!
And that ain't right on a duck.