Sunday, July 17, 2005

King Harold

Apparently Harold is a very rare goat, so he says. Something about his family being bred especially for King Louis the 14th of France or something, back in the late 1600s. Seems King Louis was partial to chocolate milkshakes made with the finest goats milk.
I wasn't too impressed myself, but now Lenny's got everyone bowing everytime Harold walks past. "It ain't often you see royalty round these parts" says Lenny, and Harold is loving every bit of it.

He reckons his family escaped the French Revolution and fled on a boat over to Dover and they were hidden secretly away by a kindly farmer. Why would anyone be interested in arresting a stupid goat anyway?? All sounds suspicious to me. Then Harold showed us his secret locket which he hangs around his neck. Inside is the old toenail of his great-great-great grandfather who came over from France. Could've been any old manky toenail really, but everyone "oohed" and "aahed" all the same. Believe anything that lot.
I showed them my tonsils which I keep in a jar and told them it was King Henry the 8th's pet kippers found hidden under the stairs of the Tower of London in 1972. And they believed that too!!

What a bunch of bananas.

7 comments:

MIKE DA HAT said...

Ok my guess was wrong about Harold being a communist infiltrator. It's far worse. He's French. And a royalist at that. His ancestors fled Madame Guillotine. The pigeons and sheep should rise up and put down this pretender to the throne.

Vive La Revolution.
Oh yeah and Rock on.

Paws said...

Royalty?! French?!?! Revolution?!?!?! Right, that's it. Hang on a second...

Hey, Ginger? GINGER!!! Yeah, I'm talking to you! How do you and your friends feel about regicide...?

Gertie said...

A big fat bogey to the stupid goat.

Fat Tony said...

Pigeons of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your feathers.

Menaceman said...

If pigeons loose their feathers then are they naked? I guess its kinda like if a tortoise looses its shell, is it homeless? OK, my brain's starting to hurt now so im going to stop there.

Fat Tony said...

Of course we're not naked. I wear the finest underpants M&S can offer - Doris Budgie chose them for me.

Menaceman said...

M&S make pigeon pants!? Wow!