Turnips

I've decided to grow my own turnips. I'm fed up with eating the mouldy old ones farmer Jack gives us, so I thought the best course of action is to grow my own.
To be honest I have absolutely no idea how to grow a turnip, so I asked Alan Horse, he knows everything!

I asked, "Alan, do you know how to grow turnips?"and Alan replied "Neigh". "Is that a "no" then?" I asked. "Neigh" he said. "So you DO know?". "Neigh!" said Alan.

By this time I was eating my own teeth with mild frustration. So I stormed off to see if the farm library had any books on turnips.

Blimey! We had hundreds!!! - "Turnips of The World", "How Turnips Can Make you Fat", "Look, A Turnip", "Are Turnips Interesting?", "My Mum Was a Turnip. From Mars", "What Turnips of The Future Will Probably Look Like", "The Curious Incident Of The Turnip".

Hundreds.

But NOT ONE on how to grow one! Ridiculous!
It was a bit of a mistake going in the library, mind you, not only did I not find the book I was looking for, but I owed them £3.50 in overdue fines. I had "Magic Tricks For Ducks" out for a bit too long. Whoops.

So anyway, Lenny suggested I get one of Farmer Jack's turnips and plant it and then hopefully a new one will grow. "A bit like when you plant an acorn and an oak tree grows" he said. Maybe, fingers crossed, I'll get a big turnip tree and I'll have hundreds of turnips! Just in time for Christmas too! yippee!!!!