today I wrote a song.

I wrote a lovely song called "Stupid Spiders, You Smell". You know when a tune gets stuck in your head and it just won't go? I was chewing the grass in the field and the rhythm of my teeth grinding got this little tune going in my head.
A stupid spider annoyed me this morning by putting a cobweb right in the doorway of the barn, which I walked straight into. He shouted at me about destroying his new home and that I was an imbecile (big word for a spider), but what does he expect building a web in such a stupid place?

So anyway, my song goes like this (think Slipknot/Girls Aloud):

Flippin' stinky spider,
You're flippin' ugly too,
Why don't you buzz off,
Or I'll flush you down the loo.

(chorus)
You think you're so clever,
You think you're really bad,
But really, you're just stinky,
And you're really, really sad.
You ain't got no flies,
And you ain't got no friends,
Spiders are so smelly,
You just drive me round the bend.

You smell of greasy onions,
you've got lots of stinky feet,
you're breath makes the hair fall out of every girl you meet.

(chorus)
You think you're so clever,
You think you're really bad,
But really, you're just stinky,
And you're really, really sad.
You ain't got no flies,
And you ain't got no friends,
Spiders are so smelly,
You just drive me round the bend!!

++++Guitar solo from Kevin rabbit++++

Stupid smelly spider,
Leave my barn and go,
Take your stinky armpits,
You're the grottiest that I know!

(chorus)
You think you're so clever,
You think you're really bad,
But really, you're just stinky,
And you're really, really sad.
You ain't got no flies,
And you ain't got no friends,
Spiders are so smelly,
You just drive me round the bend!!!

I think it's a work of genius and should be number one for Christmas.

Lenny says I'm a plank.